Georgia's Q&A with a sex party host
When we say the word sex - people often think of two-naked-bodies-penetrating-eachother. But sex is so much more than that and it can involve more bodies too. We’re living in an exciting time where we have greater access to understanding and learning about people’s sexual experiences – the good, the bad and the clunky.
In session I’ve been noticing more and more people are curious about group sex experiences and sex parties. There’s a lot of myths and misconceptions as well as a whole bunch of questions.
So I wanted to give you some insight into what it’s actually like to attend a sex party - and who better to ask than Polly Spaull, a Sex Party events manager (aka Curator Of Pleasure). Polly shared her expert opinion and insights from the front line, and we covered it all.
And as you can expect - there’s a lot to discuss and we didn’t want to leave anything out (because we know you’re curious too!) So we’re serving you this interview in a two part series - double le fun!
This week we’re covering everything you need to know before you attend a party and next week we’ll go through everything you need to know while you’re there! Strap in, it’s going to be fun.
GG: How did you get into the space?
PS: Good question! It was actually a happy accident to be totally honest. My working background is in large scale events management in London – luxury brands, large hotels and companies, so I have always been involved in the organisational side of things. I came over to Sydney for a 4 week holiday and actually got stuck due to Covid. I came across a couple in the scene on a dating website, and as we were chatting they were telling me about the industry they worked in and asked if I would like to come aboard. I find everything to do with sex and pleasure absolutely fascinating so I jumped at the chance.
GG: What's it like hosting sex parties?
PS: To put it bluntly, it’s incredibly good fun. It’s not without its hard work in the run up to the event, but I think that the fun, sense of achievement and the experiences that are open to you at a party more than make up for it. I’ve been incredibly lucky to meet the most fantastic friends and acquaintances and be able to try and watch things I never dreamed of having the opportunity of doing or seeing. It’s definitely been a journey of self discovery.
"People are incredibly respectful and there always tends to be rooms/areas where you can step away from the action if you wish"
GG: What are the most common myths or misconceptions you hear about sex parties?
PS: I often ask people when we inevitably get talking about my job if they have attended/thought about attending a party. Most of the time people are incredibly curious. Some are a firm ‘no’ immediately. I think one of the most common misconceptions about the party is that people are just having sex with everyone, everything and everywhere. People expect to walk in, be made to strip off and just get going, when in reality it’s nothing like that at all. The most important thing at parties first and foremost is consent.
People are incredibly respectful and there always tends to be rooms/areas where you can take a step away from the action if you wish. There is also absolutely (and I cannot stress this enough) zero pressure to participate.
I think another misbelief is that the clubs will be dirty and sleazy. Again, in reputable venues this couldn’t be further from the truth. Cleaning supplies, extra bedding, hot showers and fresh towels are usually supplied. People take pride in their appearance when attending.
GG: How did you get invited / find out about it ?
PS: This will likely involve you actively pursuing the information. A quick Google search should bring up any clubs/parties close to you. There are also websites like Red Hot Pie and Fet Life that have event sections.
Finding the best venue for yourself is important and you can familiarise yourself with the way that venue operates on their website. Usually you can readily purchase tickets online, however this process will involve a degree of screening, generally aimed at single men looking to attend. Sorry guys! The protocol for issuing a single male ticket often varies club to club, but I like to have an email sent to me with current photos of themselves, their age, experience and why they are looking to attend. It’s definitely much easier to attend as part of a couple.
GG: How do I know if its right for me?
PS: You won’t know until you try. Every club is different and every party offers something diverse in order to cater to a wide range of fantasies and desires. Want to experience a gangbang? There’s a party for that. How about impact play? There’s a party for that. Is fancy dress/costume your thing? There’s one for that too!
I always encourage people that have ever been fleetingly curious to go and check it out. It really can be an incredibly enlightening experience. I’ve had couples tell me that they have had their lives changed by attending one of my parties, it’s opened up a whole sexual world that they never would have had the chance to explore before.
In saying that, it won’t be for everyone. And if it isn’t, that’s totally fine. There is no pressure whatsoever.
Ok so there we have it, a little bit of foreplay before we dive head first into attending sex parties. See you next week as we delve deeper.