When I discuss the topic of virginity with my clients, the concept reminds them of a time when they just wanted to ‘lose it’, or when it was used against them to make them feel like a prude, a slut, or they speak about the fear of pain, discomfort, or the unknown. So as the concept clearly does more harm than good, I invite people to use a different word to describe their first time.
I’m not the first practitioner (and certainly not the last) to challenge the language we use when it comes to sex. So I decided to speak with my supervisor, colleague and friend Tanya Koens, who is a Clinical and Somatic Sexologist and Counsellor with thousands of hours of clinical experience - literally the perfect person to shed light on this topic. We discuss our thoughts on virginity and invite a new way of thinking about your first experiences.