Swiping right on love: Dating in the age of dating apps
Even though you have everyone at your fingertips, it can seem like you’ll never find your perfect match. Here is how to navigate the world of dating apps to find meaningful relationships that work for you.
Gone are the days of meeting the love of your life at the local bar or bumping into them at the supermarket. Nowadays, whether you’re looking for the love of your life or a short term fling, you are probably on a dating app or two. Dating apps have changed the way we view dating, connection and interpersonal relationships. It’s almost weird now if a man hit on you in a bar, or asked for your number out in public. Even though you have everyone at your fingertips, it can seem like you’ll never find your perfect match. Here is how to navigate the world of dating apps to find meaningful relationships that work for you.
Understand yourself and what you want/need
How many times have you gone on a first date and wanted to be “cool girl” or to appear nonchalant to make it seem like you’re super chill? How many times have you ended up getting feelings for the person, only for them to say “we are just casual”? For me, it’s been one too many. That is because I hadn’t figured out what it is I wanted in a relationship. The first step when it comes to finding the perfect match is understanding yourself and what sort of relationship you want/need. From hook ups, to situationships, to summer flings to long term relationships, it is important that you and your partner(s) are on the same page, and the only way to get on the same page is by knowing what page you want to be on. Knowing in yourself what you want also helps you weed out those people who are on a completely different path from you.
Choosing the right app for you
Choosing the right app is the next step towards success. Luckily, we live in a digital age where there is an app for almost everything! From the more obvious options like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge to more LGBTQ+ friendly apps like Grindr and Her, do your research or go through some trial and error to see which one fits your lifestyle more. And if you are wanting something a bit more niche, there are apps that can even help you narrow down a partner that is of similar religion, culture and has similar interests and kinks to you! Phew, talk about options!
Prioritising Safety in Online Dating
I know, I sound like your mum warning you about not taking candy from a stranger, but truth be told, today more than ever you need to be aware of stranger danger. Just because you are messaging someone and you feel like you’re beginning to trust them, just remember that everything they are telling you might not be who they really are! It’s important to not give any private information such as your address to someone you haven’t met in person! When it is time to meet, remember to always meet in a public place and to let your friends or someone you trust know where you are.
Importance of self care while online dating
Having the world at your fingertips and getting to know new people can be exhilarating, and might even be time consuming! From spending more time texting/messaging to being excited about meeting new people (nothing beats that first date buzz!), a lot of your time and energy can be used on dating. Even though it’s exciting to go on many dates and debrief with your friends afterwards, it’s important to set your boundaries and schedule in some “me” time. Whether it means having an evening alone watching your favourite movie, or getting your fav takeout to eat at home in sweatpants, it’s important to take some time to connect with yourself to prevent burn out from the dating scene!
Managing Expectations for Success
If you’re on dating apps, sometimes it might feel like you have a great connection with someone only to meet them in real life and the spark is just not there. This can be disappointing, and if you’re looking for the “one”, it might also put you off dating in general. Dating, especially online, requires a realistic mindset, not everyone will be your cup of tea and you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s ok! Each person that isn’t right for you will teach you a little more about the type of person you deserve.
Online dating is the new “normal” when it comes to dating. But much like most forms of social media, the immediate and constant stream of eligible bachelors/bachelorettes can come with consequences. In order to have the best experience on dating apps, it’s important to prioritise yourself and your desires, after all you don’t owe a stranger on the internet anything!
