Once upon a time, I was a woman who had no idea what an orgasm felt like. I grew up in such a way that sex was shrouded in shame, and that took quite some time to untangle. I still have the normal insecurities that many people have, but with a bit of work, and a whole lot of practice (if you know what I mean), I started to learn the ins and outs and underneath spaces of my body and how to reach that point of no return.
Now I’d love to share with you the wisdom that took me a couple of decades to discover so that maybe you can find your release sooner rather than later. Sex and pleasure should be celebrated!
La Petite Mort is a French expression that I love! Maybe you’ve heard of it. Maybe you haven’t. But it can mean little or tiny deaths when referring to orgasm (gotta love how sexy the French are). The expression is wrapped up in metaphor after metaphor that is related to slipping between the sheets but also to what it means to take risks, to try new things, to fail, to get back up, and, maybe most important of all, to surrender to your own desires and pleasure and trust that it is good. To trust that you are good. That you are enough. That you are worth it.
The first time that I reached orgasm, I was confused about whether I was actually successful or not. Shockingly, I was - I know, that sounds like such a transformative experience, but it is a common first-time experience for some. I was under the impression that I was supposed to look and feel like one thing, when in reality, everyone is different and it’s ok if we don’t make the movements and sounds of Hollywood (and it’s definitely ok if we do). When I finally let go and let my body surrender to this unknown space, I finally understood and experienced a tiny death, a moment of stepping into a space where you can’t tell if you are coming apart or coming together at that life and death threshold. I know it sounds dramatic. That’s why it’s a metaphor.